I agree too, that when we list our resolutions we don’t tend to balance them with things that we could do and would make us happy with little or no effort. Whether that’s because we automatically focus on the negatives, the things we haven’t done or would like to change about ourselves, or whether it’s because theres some remnant of a puritan “all things that make you happy are the work of the devil” mentality we’ve absorbed, I don’t know.

The problem is that most of the time, the things which give us the greatest sense of achievement are the things which weren’t easy to do. If you want to run a marathon then you have to put in the training and that involves getting out there and pounding the streets, no matter how tired you might feel or what the weather is like or what’s on the telly. That bit isn’t fun but the cheering crowds and sense of achievement at the end of the race makes it worthwhile (or so I’ve been told).

Balancing out more difficult resolutions with an equal amount of “self-indulgent” ones. Definitely. But there does need to be a balance.

But it’s not making sure that your resolutions balance the stick with some carrots which has made me resolve not to make resolutions.

For the past three years I’ve sat at the kitchen table on New Years Eve and listed everything I wanted to accomplish in the year ahead. The trouble is, my resolutions have become self-limiting prophecies. I’ve accomplished them (well nearly all of them, I’m resigned to the fact that I’m never going to lose 6 stone or have shiny hair every day!). But that’s all I’ve accomplished. By listing them, the things I wanted to do because they made me happy or gave me a sense of achievement, became just one more thing that I had to tick off before the end of the day.

I’ve realised that by making resolutions, by setting goals and aims, by listing what I wanted to do and how I would set about doing it, my life has shrunk until it’s now so small it pinches. As a result of this, somewhere along the way my mouth has become pursed and I’ve forgotten how to laugh.

I never used to make resolutions. I’d wing it, with a vague idea of how I wanted my life to be and not a clue about how to articulate it, nevermind achieve it. But I’d always had the instinctive knowledge that not only would everything always turn out the way I wanted - it would exceed my wildest expectations. It always did.

I’ve not lost that belief. Now all I have to do is trust it again. I can’t do that by tying my dreams to a ten point plan.

not a bad approach if you’re mad keen on formalising real life.
but why pick on jan 1? surely you’ve got enough on your plate already what with the drinking and the… well, drinking?

tell that person you’re not making ANY new years resolutions and that you never do. you ONLY make march 13th resolutions.

if s/he asks “why march 13?”, ask them “why jan 1?”

alternatively, apply the sal approach which is: “i couldn’t be arsed.” which i think you’ve done.