Aaaaaaaaargh!

Just don’t even ask. Who would have thought a piece of malteser stuck down the side of a shift key could cause so much devastation?
Radio silence until I redo all the work that the bloody thing managed to delete (Probably Monday)

18 Responses to “Aaaaaaaaargh!”

  1. frobisher Says:

    well at least they only melt in your mouth

  2. m Says:

    ((((((((((((( h))))))))))))

    must I send over emergency chocolate?

    Can tie to a collar on cat and put on the no 21 bus…
    m

  3. bering Says:

    waaait a minute, i’ve heard the malteser ate my homework thing before. Stuck under a key? Which key? A shift key? Did you hit Malt+Shift+Del? Is that what happened?

  4. Chaucer's Bitch Says:

    Malt-Shift-Delete! Hahahahaha!

    Seriously hon, you have the worst computer luck of any living being. So sorry.

  5. Saltation Says:

    argh!

    go to backup…

    in other news, i just ran across THIS!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=909ucA6U634&mode=related&search=
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53lFVSI7Eh0&mode=related&search= (what a cool pingu - check the beak)

    why didn[’t you say something at the time?? i live about 100yards from there, i coulda wandered over.

  6. Herebe Says:

    Strange considering the amount of computers they have that she keeps destroying them…

  7. helena Says:

    Frobisher - they don’t bloody well only melt in your mouth, they melt down the side of your sodding shift key, stick the thing down, start up some weird and wonderful microsoft smartkey thing, make you think you’ve got a virus because your bloody desktop has duplicated itself all over the screen thus ensuring that you delete your portfolio of work and then go into your cache and delete that too (just in case).

    M. No thank you. Chocolate is very much non grata right now (plus it’s lent anyway.

    Bering. Did I hit Malt+shift+Del? In a word. Yes.

    CB. I do don’t I? You’d think I’d have learned by now to keep all consumables well away from the bloody things.

    Sal. Tried it. And systems restore and running this weird programme F has that undeletes thing. Found stuff from three years ago that was deleted - but none of my files (except 2 which we recovered and the computer refuses to open). Because I didn’t know (until F noticed when he got back about 5 hours later) that the stupid shift key was stuck down but thought it was a virus, I not only deleted the whole of my cache (and temp folders and olk folders) but deleted all the files on the adobe scratch disc as well. Oh well nothing for it but to redo the lot.

    Other news. I would have said something but didn’t know. They tell me nothing.

  8. helena Says:

    Herebe. Once. I delete Finder on the apple once and spill red wine over a couple of laptops and I’m accused of destroying computers? Is there no justice in the world?

  9. FirstNations Says:

    steven king wrote a book about you.

    *lightbulbs bursting, prized colletcion of racist teacups falls to floor*

    STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. helena Says:

    racist teacups? how the hell did he know about those?

  11. FirstNations Says:

    don’t distract me. they were my teacups and you’re paying to replace every single one of them.
    you telekinesis-poltergeist person. *crossing self vigorously with garlic extract*

  12. helena Says:

    OK. OK. I’ll pay. How about I persuade CB to send you that weird rudey statue you like?

  13. Randy Quinn Says:

    Not sure what a malteaser is, but i thought you had a molester stuck in your keyboard !!!

  14. John Gardner Says:

    Helena, How the devil are you? It’s been a while…

  15. Chaucer's Bitch Says:

    i heard that.

  16. helena Says:

    RQ. A malteser is (and I quote) “Maltesers, made by Mars Incorporated, are small, almost perfectly round chocolate balls, with a malt-flavoured and light-crisp honeycombed centre. Maltesers were originally called Energy Balls; the name didn’t ‘catch on’ and was soon changed to Maltesers. In the early 1930s, American-born Forrest Mars travelled to Britain and opened the UK’s first Mars Confectionery factory in England. Forrest Mars (21 March, 1904 – 1 July, 1999), was the son of Frank and Ethel Mars from Tacoma, Washington state, who founded the Mars Confectionery Company in the US in 1911. The UK Mars Confectionery factory has been producing Maltesers since 1936.

    How Maltesers are Made

    Mars do not openly reveal their trade secret of how Maltesers are made, and how the chocolate balls are smooth, with no edges. However, we can speculate on a viable possibility.

    Firstly the dough for the centres has to be mixed and then shaped. In the past that would probably have involved the use of a drop roller but nowadays these are rarely used in high volume confectionery production; most have been replaced by the more efficient automatic candy-forming machine. The next step involves the centres being fed into a continuous oven which cooks them, giving them their honeycombed texture. They then go into a coating pan, which is a bit like a cement-mixer. As the centres are tossed around inside the revolving drum of the coating pan, fine sprays of chocolate are coated onto them, building up the layers, until the chocolate coating is at the required thickness. In the final stage, a spraying of edible wax is used to give the Maltesers their shiny polished look. ”

    There you go. What the site neglected to mention is that they are (with the exception of the aptly named “munchies” the perfect chocolate to enjoy when you do (in fact) have “the munchies”.
    The only problem is that now I’ve read about them being coated in edible wax I’ve gone right off them.

    Now can I please have left-handed guitar?

    John G. How do I know it’s you? It might not be? I’m going to have to test you. Tell me the answers to the following questions and I’ll believe it’s you.
    a. What colour do you get if you mix blue cuaraso and 1080 cider?
    b. What is the last song to be played on the jukebox at the Percy on a Thursday night
    c. What was the pizza topping HM insisted upon whenever we came out of the mayfair?

    Apart from that - how the devil are you?

    CB. You probably can. The neighbors have started ignoring me when we pass on the stairs once more so I must be getting shouty.

  17. Herebe Says:

    John! How the devil are you? Is it really you? H is coming to Newcastle in a couple of weeks. So am I. Drinks! On the house. We’ll put the table next to the chim chiminee chim chimcheree! In order,

    1) You get vomit!
    2) Whichever one the drunken pair of you put on an hour before.
    3) Anchovies.

    Oyvey…

  18. helena Says:

    Actually you got 2 out of the three question wrong which means you aren’t my brother. Away with you, you impostor!

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